Hidden in Plain Sight
This Valentine’s Day weekend, movie screens across the nation will feature film that portrays a distorted understanding what it means to love and be loved.
And no, it isn’t 50 Shades of Grey.
Sure, the story of a sadomasochistic billionaire is grabbing all the headlines, but the extreme outrageousness of its story means it is, thankfully, far removed from most Americans’ lived reality.
But this weekend’s release of The Last 5 Years, a love-and-loss story based on a musical of the same name by Tony-award winner Jason Robert Brown, is a painfully recognizable, small-scale depiction of how our culture’s misunderstanding of love and marriage lead to heartbreak and regret.
The show’s conceit has Cathy, to be played by rising Hollywood star Anna Kendrick, singing her story starting with their divorce and working her way backwards, and Jamie, Jeremy Jordan in the movie, singing chronologically from their first meeting and onto the end of their five-year relationship.
They start with infatuation (“You don't have to change a thing, Just stay with me, I want you and you and nothing but you”) and quickly slide into living together and eventually get married - their only duet together in the original Off-Broadway show. (“I want to bear your child, I want to die knowing I had a long, full life in your arms.”)
As circumstances change and Jamie’s career takes off, their fragile relationship calcifies and shatters, and he rationalizes an extra-marital affair (“I get what I need, And nobody needs to know.”) She’s heartbroken, he’s ready to move on, and they go their separate ways (“Covered with scars I did nothing to earn, Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn”).
Like those who in previous years pushed for no-fault divorce laws and now advocate for a redefinition of marriage, the characters suffer from an incomplete understanding of love and what it means to be married. Jaime believes - or acts like he does - that once the spark is gone and the connection lost, it will be impossible to bring it back.
Adversity, in the form of professional jealousy or personal temptations, serves as a pressure that cleaves and fractures their marriage rather than binding them together to face what may come. Love is a mysterious, inexplicable force that brings them together and then abandons them; a romantic wave that carries them to the highest of highs and then recedes, leaving them stranded with nothing but the memory of what had been.
Love is a necessary prerequisite for a long-lasting marriage, but by itself, it’s not enough, as we see in The Last 5 Years. Married life does not promise that the yoke will be easy or the burden light. At times, it can be - and often is - quite the opposite, as we read in Rick and Karen Santorum’s gripping and personal “Bella’s Story,” which shows how even the most grounded family can feel the strain of adjusting to a child born with physical disabilities.
The initial spark may indeed be a mysterious force, but a life-long commitment requires a willingness to sacrifice and be humbled by the challenges which inevitably arise. Falling in love is thrilling, but building a successful marriage requires serious discernment, constant forgiveness, and an unwavering willingness to face whatever life brings.
Particularly for those who have seen friends or family members go through the pain of growing apart, marital infidelity, and divorce, The Last 5 Years strikes a sadly familiar chord. Every year, over 875,000 Americans find that their fairy tale wedding has anything but a happy ending. While the divorce rate has fallen slightly in recent years, our society’s predominant, cavalier understanding of what it means to be in love still wreaks havoc through breaking up families and causing countless heartbreak.
Explicit and violent sex scenes have made 50 Shades of Grey the talk of the country, but the everyday heartbreak we see displayed in The Last 5 Years is an unacceptably common tragedy. Falling in love is a thrilling roller-coater; staying in love is the subtle thrill of a craft that is slowly improved but never perfected.
Building a marriage that lasts longer than The Last 5 Years requires serious discernment, constant forgiveness, and an unwavering willingness to face any challenge together until “there’s no one left who has ever known us apart.”
And no, it isn’t 50 Shades of Grey.
But this weekend’s release of The Last 5 Years, a love-and-loss story based on a musical of the same name by Tony-award winner Jason Robert Brown, is a painfully recognizable, small-scale depiction of how our culture’s misunderstanding of love and marriage lead to heartbreak and regret.
The show’s conceit has Cathy, to be played by rising Hollywood star Anna Kendrick, singing her story starting with their divorce and working her way backwards, and Jamie, Jeremy Jordan in the movie, singing chronologically from their first meeting and onto the end of their five-year relationship.
They start with infatuation (“You don't have to change a thing, Just stay with me, I want you and you and nothing but you”) and quickly slide into living together and eventually get married - their only duet together in the original Off-Broadway show. (“I want to bear your child, I want to die knowing I had a long, full life in your arms.”)
As circumstances change and Jamie’s career takes off, their fragile relationship calcifies and shatters, and he rationalizes an extra-marital affair (“I get what I need, And nobody needs to know.”) She’s heartbroken, he’s ready to move on, and they go their separate ways (“Covered with scars I did nothing to earn, Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn”).
Like those who in previous years pushed for no-fault divorce laws and now advocate for a redefinition of marriage, the characters suffer from an incomplete understanding of love and what it means to be married. Jaime believes - or acts like he does - that once the spark is gone and the connection lost, it will be impossible to bring it back.
Adversity, in the form of professional jealousy or personal temptations, serves as a pressure that cleaves and fractures their marriage rather than binding them together to face what may come. Love is a mysterious, inexplicable force that brings them together and then abandons them; a romantic wave that carries them to the highest of highs and then recedes, leaving them stranded with nothing but the memory of what had been.
Love is a necessary prerequisite for a long-lasting marriage, but by itself, it’s not enough, as we see in The Last 5 Years. Married life does not promise that the yoke will be easy or the burden light. At times, it can be - and often is - quite the opposite, as we read in Rick and Karen Santorum’s gripping and personal “Bella’s Story,” which shows how even the most grounded family can feel the strain of adjusting to a child born with physical disabilities.
The initial spark may indeed be a mysterious force, but a life-long commitment requires a willingness to sacrifice and be humbled by the challenges which inevitably arise. Falling in love is thrilling, but building a successful marriage requires serious discernment, constant forgiveness, and an unwavering willingness to face whatever life brings.
Particularly for those who have seen friends or family members go through the pain of growing apart, marital infidelity, and divorce, The Last 5 Years strikes a sadly familiar chord. Every year, over 875,000 Americans find that their fairy tale wedding has anything but a happy ending. While the divorce rate has fallen slightly in recent years, our society’s predominant, cavalier understanding of what it means to be in love still wreaks havoc through breaking up families and causing countless heartbreak.
Explicit and violent sex scenes have made 50 Shades of Grey the talk of the country, but the everyday heartbreak we see displayed in The Last 5 Years is an unacceptably common tragedy. Falling in love is a thrilling roller-coater; staying in love is the subtle thrill of a craft that is slowly improved but never perfected.
Building a marriage that lasts longer than The Last 5 Years requires serious discernment, constant forgiveness, and an unwavering willingness to face any challenge together until “there’s no one left who has ever known us apart.”
